Deal With Her Bad-Boy Baggage

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• Better Man in brief ...


• Keep your distance to allow her to sort through her issues.


• Don't let her categorize you as "one of them." Insist that you are not a jerk.


• Mirror bad-boy-like qualities, like mystery and independence, to keep her interested.

"There?s no hard-and-fast rule about how long your patience should last. You?ll know when it?s no longer worth sticking around."

“It is the biggest load of bs to believe that a woman wants a guy that is going to treat her well. I have lost several girlfriends that way. I treated them well, picked up the check, opened the door... and the only thing it has gotten me is a lighter wallet and more depression to dig back out of. I guess I will never understand why women leave the guys that care about them and run back to the jerks and players.”
- Aeronuus, AskMen reader

“I've found that many women prefer to date a bad-boy type over and over again, then complain about how they can't find a good man. Then, when a good man finally comes around, the women are all jaded and messed up from the jerks they've dated, and the great guy gets a raw deal and the backlash for issues he had nothing to do with.
- D J, AskMen reader

Like the above-quoted AskMen readers, there are many men who find themselves in relationships with women who are carrying around baggage left by a bad boy in her past. If you are one of these men, you may end up suffering for the sins of the jerks that have come before you. You do your best to be the good guy, to be the opposite of the guy who hurt her, but eventually she leaves you in the dust and returns to the excitement of the bad boy.

When a woman gets hurt in a relationship it’s natural for her to be a little more cautious with the next guy that comes along, but there is a difference between being careful and being ridiculous. AskMen tells you what’s acceptable and what’s outrageous from a girl who’s been burned by a bad boy. We’ll also let you know how you can keep her interested in you and away from the dark side.

Keep your distance

If she was really hurt by the last guy she was with, she probably won’t want to jump into a new relationship right off the bat. It might take a little longer for her to open up and trust you. If you think she’s worth it, give her the time and space while making it very clear that you are interested. But don’t wait forever, either. There’s no hard-and-fast rule about how long your patience should last. You’ll know when it’s no longer worth sticking around.

Don’t let her categorize you

All men are not created equal, at least when it comes to relationship skills. A woman who has dated a bad boy may be tempted to put all men into one category and label it “jerks.” You have to stand up for yourself and insist that you’re not like the guy from her past. “You men are all the same” shouldn’t come out of her mouth.

Be reliable

Being trustworthy and dependable is recommended in any dating situation but is essential when you’re dating a former bad-boy lover. She needs to know she can count on you. This means you should call when you say you’re going to, don’t break plans at the last minute, be there for her when she needs you in a crisis, and consistently make an effort to be romantic. Be a gentleman.